American Idol 9: Finale Results Show

The results of the Finale were a little disappointing, at least to me. I honestly felt like anybody with a semblance of fair play could tell you that Crystal Bowersox wiped the floor with Lee DeWyze, but it was America’s choice and they decided to go with the young DeWyze. Was it DeWyze decision? Well, I don't know. Quite an upset, in my opinion. But, let’s take a moment to talk about the runner-up!

Crystal Bowersox. Crystal did everything right Tuesday night. She went out and fought tooth and nail for a victory that was made impossible by Lee’s ever-growing momentum on the show. That’s the issue with being the early frontrunner. Fans of eliminated Idols usually don’t jump on board late in the game. Instead, they move to the alternative, and Lee was that alternative. Crystal probably lost this competition last week when she allowed Lee to practically be crowned during the top three stage of the competition. But second place is nothing to sneeze at and now it’s up to her to see how far she gets..

Now, let’s talk a little bit about some of my observations about the rest of the episode:

• So, less than 2% separated the finalists coming into the vote. Oh, and Ryan did NOT announce the vote total. Interesting.
• Too funny. Crystal has this school-girl get-up on!
• The Top 12 take the stage with Alice Cooper to sing School’s Out. Now, I get the crazy school girl outfit. Orianthi is shredding on guitar. The choreography was hilarious. 
• Kris Allen takes the stage to sing The Truth. Wait, why is Ryan’s mic open through the first couple of bars? Ugh.
• The first video tribute to Simon runs. Paula Abdul, Ellen Degeneres, Kara Dioguardi and Randy Jackson are interviewed saying nice things about Simon, intercut with clips that belie their words. Funny. 
• Siobhan Magnus and Aaron Kelly take the stage. Siobhan opens with How Deep is Your Love. Aaron comes in on harmony. This is very nice! Look, two of the Bee Gees take the stage to sing. Haha. Not a fan. So there's that. 
• Michael Lynche singing Taking it to the Streets. He sounds like a dying cat. He usually sounds so much better than this! He introduces someone Michael Macdonald. Hands down, weirdest duet of the night?
• Dane Cook sings a “funny” song to Simon. All of he MOST annoying contestants from over the years take the stage and that lasted hardly a second. I saw Tatiana Del Toro and Ian Bernardo. Haha. EPIC! 
• Lacey Brown and Didi Benami take the stage singing Beautiful. Katie Stevens, Paige Miles, Siobhan Magnus and Crystal Bowersox join them. So, this must be the girl's medley! It's Christina Auguilera medley Fighter next, these girls sound amazing. Unbelievable.
• Christina joins them on stage. She sings her single You Lost Me. This is her new single? Hm. No comment. She just canceled her summer tour. Trouble! I think she’s having a nervous breakdown on stage.
• Ricky Gervais is made some joke via satellite.
• Next, the boys get a Hall and Oats medley. So, whose bright idea was it to let Andrew Garcia sing again?
•  Casey James is singing Maneater. Hahaha.  
• Crystal Bowersox sings Ironic before she introduces Alanis Morrisette!!! Nice! She sings You Oughta Know. Oh well. So, no Melissa Etheridge but there's  Alanis Morrisette. Good enough! 
• Carrie Underwood takes the stage to sing Undo It. So, could those leather pants on Carrie be any tighter?  Haha.
• Carrie Underwood is a giant success. Every time she returns to the Idol stage you can see why.
• Kris Allen “surprises” Crystal and Lee with new cars. Oh, and they get a car built with the fugly designs they created early in the season. Yippie. Now, a montage of the season’s Ford commercials.
• The Ford commercial made it seem like all of the Idols had died this season and Lee and Crystal were paying their respects.  
• Casey James is center stage, playing guitar singing Every Rose Has It’s Thorn. Poison! and Bret Michaels takes the stage. I hope nothing bad happens. Actually, he seems remarkably well considering all the bad sh*t that’s happened to him recently.
• Poor Lee. He had the lamest duet of the night. Chicago? Really?! Because Lee is from Chicago? Crap! 
• The entire band is off-pitch. Perhaps in honor of Mr. Lee DeWyze. Hahaha.
•  Oh here it comes! General Larry Platt and Pants on the Ground. He’s got dancers! AND A DUET WITH WILLIAM HUNG. EPIC! It's all so bad that I love it. Yes, it's that kind of season. Haha. But frankly, I was over with this song like two minutes after the first time I saw it. 
• Paula Abdul needs to get better joke writers.  
• Montage time of Simon moments set to My Way.
• OMG!!!! Kelly Clarkson! Ruben Studdard! Fantasia Barrino! Carrie Underwood! Jordin Sparks! Taylor Hicks! Kris Allen! It’s a winners medley!!!! EPIC! Too bad David Cook couldn’t make it - he had a gig at a charity event.
• Now, a pile of ex-idols take the stage, dressed in white.  
• Wow. The Idol winner medley was really powerful, especially when all of other Idol alumsbegan to stream out and you take stock in just how many lives this show has changed.
• Simon joins the contestants on stage. Simon says he’s genuinely emotional. “The show goes forward, it’ll be different”, he thanks everyone from the bottom of his heart. Simon says that we, the audience are the judges of the show and have done an incredible job. “It’s been a blast”, he says. “Thank you.” :(
• The contestants sing Janet Jackson’s Nothing. Oh, Adam Lambert’s green lasers are being recycled! 
• Janet takes the stage to sing in a whisper. Haha. Nasty! Now it’s time for some Paula Abdul moves! The crowd loves Janet!
• Now, a little video tribute to the Top 2. Oh yeah. I forgot. The season 9 contestants! Right. Haha.
• Lee and Crystal sing A Little Help From My Friends. Crystal introduces Joe Cocker, living. 
• OMG. Crystal is way too awesome here. CRAZY. “What would you do if I sang out of tune.” Indeed. Ha.
• The Joe Cocker duet was probably the greatest moment of the night. Cocker still rules even if he looks like he’s a thousand years old. 
• RESULTS!!!! Telescope is in the house.